In the Evil Parallel Universe(see
Star Trek mythos), the EvilTwistedMill
team is designing their next titles.
Aztec
Cannibals of the Amazon
Enslave other tribes, build pyramids for human sacrifice, develop
a priest/butcher caste to cut out their hearts as sacrifice to the Sun,
then hold feasts where you roast the rest.
"Mmm... who's for dinner?" is the game's promotional tag line.
Valley Girl Princesses now have a new use besides shopping for luxuries
like dog meat and roasted human hands. They can also be drowned in
pools to appease the rain gods. Remember to weight them down with
enough gold jewelery or things will come floating back up again.
Putrefying your only remaining water source with a decaying corpse may
also kill off your village if it doesn't work, but the Aztecs never
were very good at long term thinking.
This, like all EvilTwistedMill games, includes a giant hand that allows
you to slap around villagers behaving badly, or as needed, chucking
protestors, whiners and complainers into any of several multiple
volcanoes provided on every map.
The game will have 200+ resources, and there will ONLY be a random map
generator scattering them hither and yon with no reason or purpose.
This feature was purely to please Europeans, who want more of a
challenging game. But for Americans who find the game too difficult the
same patch that works with all EvilTwistedMill games is already
available. It replaces the entire menu system with a single button
called "A winnah is you!" Pressing this will start the 3 hour fanfair
by EvilKeith "What a Great Person You Are for Having Bought The Game
and Pressed the Button That Lets You Win. It's Much Harder Than Turning
a Doorknob, Afterall!" This musical extravaganza patch, as always,
takes 3 months to download, and is only available by dialup, NOT over
the internet, but hiring a certain birthday entertainer may get you a
copy faster. (Ahem)
Eskimos: Palaces of Ice, Age of Global
Warming
The expansion pack to the best selling "Eskimos: The Battle for
Blubber", where clubbing seals and slaughtering whales were the
foundations of your civilization. While other may build castles made of
sand, your palaces are so fragile that anyone with a blowdryer can
destroy civilization. Are you Nanook enough?
Caesar in Space
Where multiple Roman Emperors competively run their own
NASA space program from the Colosseum in a race to see who can expire
and die in the pure vacuum of space first.
